The Science of Asian Female Friendships

The Science of Asian Female Friendships and What it Takes for People to Bond

Last year of November, my mother had a stroke and I spent two days in the ER. It was one of the most stressful, disorienting, and exhausting situations I’ve been in. I was suddenly the point of contact for everything, the translator, the advocate, but mostly crippled and frozen in fear for what was to come next. We’re very lucky she recovered through rehab and stringent care following the next three months.

This was also during the planning of the AWW Travel Summit, and I remember Joanna (our Events Director) and I took a pause, and instead we talked about how and why Asian parents refused to receive medicine from western hospitals, rehab treatment for post-strokes, and more.

I felt comforted by the fact that I didn’t have to explain everything, that Joanna immediately understood the deeply embedded filial intricacies (and frustrations) of being an Asian daughter. We had a vulnerable moment, and I was grateful for her support.

In a most recent conversation and recap of our travel summit with our Events Director Joanna, we also discussed why the women at the event had gelled so quickly and so well.

With a mix of common ground and relating to being part of the Asian diaspora being raise with similar values, it was also the openness and intentionality of conversations that helped members bond and feel like lifelong friendships.

For AWWs to become friends, Joanna says it’s “by being open, sharing experiences, the circumstances of how the community was built allowed members to feel safe and be safe, which helped speed up the process.”

I also shared that there’s a sense of trust and vulnerability when you share something of yours to someone else, and they in return do the same to you. Being present, being available, and being in person is irreplaceable.

If you are looking to continue and deepen female friendships, there are 5 things you can do:

• Reach out and provide support - if they’re going through something or doing something new, offer your support and share excitement

• Work on something together - one of the best ways I’ve found to deepen my friendships is to work on something together as collaborators or work alongside

• Nurturing the relationship through touch points - small engagements show them you care, even if it’s just a random text message of saying hello and sending over an article

• Going deeper beyond the “what’s new with you?” question - when you chat, ask them “what excites them recently?” or remembering something they mentioned back in the day and how it’s going now

• Understanding reciprocation and being okay to move along when the circumstances aren’t right - it takes two hands to clap, so if you find yourself giving more in a relationship and your efforts aren’t being reciprocated, then it’s just that this friendship is not for you

Brain Snacks 🧠

• The Case Against Travel - “The traveller departs confident that she will come back with the same basic interests, political beliefs, and living arrangements. Travel is a boomerang. It drops you right where you started.” Philosopher Agnes Callard explores why we travel, and if it is to become a changed person, whether we change at all. 

• The Personal Brand Paradox - Writer Debbie Millman reflects on the history of branding and the loss of self when we make ourselves a brand. “The moment we cater our creativity to popular opinion is the precise moment we lose our freedom and autonomy.”

Opportunities and Job Boards 📚

• Add yourself to the AWW Networking Directory - get featured and interviewed by AWW once we kickstart our interview series

• AWW’s New Business Collective for Solopreneurs - get on the waitlist for our business based community

• Create the magic for humans connections while getting paid - If you're a natural host who loves meeting new people and making every guest feel seen and welcomed, this is likely to be the perfect side job

• WanderLog (in Y Combinator) - a company building tools to make travel easier; they’re hiring for a Full-Stack Engineer and Product Designer

• We Work Remotely - From tech, design, customer support and more

• Working Nomads - If you’re looking for contract and full time roles in a wide range of fields

Upcoming Events ✨

Redefining Success Workshop for the Asian Female Community
May 29, 2024 from 12:00-1:30 pm PST
📍online

Angela Wu, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, leads us into facilitated discussions and workshop to help Asian women reframe their thinking. Through this workshop, you’ll learn key psychological concepts to better understand your beliefs and behaviors shaped by cultural factors. You’ll leave the workshop with practical tools to strengthen your mental resilience and well-being. You can also book a free consult with Angela to explore the different therapy and coaching services she offers.

Dumplings and Calligraphy Hangout
June 2nd, 2024 from 11am-4pm PST
📍 San Francisco, CA

Join us for a delightful gathering in San Francisco as we come together to bond over dumplings and calligraphy! In our busy lives, we often find ourselves caught up in our thoughts and worries. This event aims to create an opportunity for us to step away from our hectic minds and instead focus on creating with our hands. Please RSVP in advance.

Envisioning your Life & Career Abroad: How to Start Working in your Dream Country in 2024
June 5th, 2024 from 6-7:30 am PST / 9-10:30 am EST
📍 online

For this immersive, hands-on workshop, we’ll be partnering up with Lucy Jeon, the founder of HeyGlobally and Work Abroad Coach. She’s helped over 100+ clients and students from over 25 countries get jobs abroad with visa sponsorship and remote jobs. During the workshop, you’ll build your own strategy using her frameworks and diving into discussion with other peers.